« A brief reproductive history of Christmas | Main | Um, what birds and bees? »


Drugged up

I ordered the medication today for my first IUI with gonadotropins.

After umpteen unsuccessful IUIs with Clomid, last year we moved directly to IVF without first trying IUI with injectables. Now we're taking a conceptual step backward. Since my only intrauterine pregnancy came about when a planned IVF was converted to an IUI, it seems reasonable to try again with the protocol that worked then.

I faxed the necessary paperwork to the nurse, who then called to ask me what drugs I wanted to use.

That's right. Apparently, without my knowledge, in its infinite wisdom the state has granted me a physician's license. I can prescribe my own regimen. So along with an impressive battery of opiates, amnestics, and hallucinogens, I have prescribed myself a three-amp program of Follistim.

(The smack I'll continue to buy from the industrious teen entrepreneurs down the street. Wouldn't want to abuse my newly-minted power.)