I liked it so much I did it again.

I went back today to get my blood hCG levels checked after Thursday's dose of misoprostol. My doctor saw me in the waiting room and took me aside to ask me how it had gone. When I told him that it was mostly unproductive, he furrowed his brow and suggested an ultrasound. Why not? It had been days since I'd been romanced by a cold piece of medical equipment. A girl could start to feel neglected.

Sure enough, half of the sac was still there. He said I would probably pass that on my own if I was willing to wait, but he didn't seem surprised when I said I was eager to get it over with.

The weeks without a resolution have been excruciating. From the day of my second beta test, I've worried; from the day of my third I've known this wasn't a viable pregnancy. At this point, I'm in favor of anything that will hasten the end of this discouraging cycle.

On the way home, I stopped and picked up three large Symphony bars, a giant bag of potato chips, and a fifth of vodka. (A girl needs her medicine.) When I got home I inserted the tablets as before and sat down to wait for my insides to fall out.

I didn't have long to wait. This time it took effect more quickly. Within three or four hours I was having some fairly strong cramps. Now I'm having some spotting, some bright red blood instead of the dark sludgy stuff of last time. I have taken to the sofa and I will not budge until it's over, or until I need more chocolate, whichever comes first.

Posted by Julie at 08:52:00 PM in Notes from astride the stirrups, Welcome to the bad place. Population: You

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I liked it so much I did it again.

I went back today to get my blood hCG levels checked after Thursday's dose of misoprostol. My doctor saw me in the waiting room and took me aside to ask me how it had gone. When I told him that it was mostly unproductive, he furrowed his brow and suggested an ultrasound. Why not? It had been days since I'd been romanced by a cold piece of medical equipment. A girl could start to feel neglected.

Sure enough, half of the sac was still there. He said I would probably pass that on my own if I was willing to wait, but he didn't seem surprised when I said I was eager to get it over with.

The weeks without a resolution have been excruciating. From the day of my second beta test, I've worried; from the day of my third I've known this wasn't a viable pregnancy. At this point, I'm in favor of anything that will hasten the end of this discouraging cycle.

On the way home, I stopped and picked up three large Symphony bars, a giant bag of potato chips, and a fifth of vodka. (A girl needs her medicine.) When I got home I inserted the tablets as before and sat down to wait for my insides to fall out.

I didn't have long to wait. This time it took effect more quickly. Within three or four hours I was having some fairly strong cramps. Now I'm having some spotting, some bright red blood instead of the dark sludgy stuff of last time. I have taken to the sofa and I will not budge until it's over, or until I need more chocolate, whichever comes first.